Back To You
by BlueMoonFan
Summary: This prompt was given to me by a friend. Kate gets pregnant on the night of the anniversary. Realizing that she will never be safe, she goes on the run. Leaving behind Castle and the rest of her family.
1. Chapter 1

This prompt was given to me by a friend.

Kate gets pregnant on the night of the anniversary. Realizing that she will never be safe, she goes on the run. Leaving behind Castle and the rest of her family.

Positive. Looking down at the thin stick that she held in her right hand, Kate wondered how the hell she had gotten to this point in her life.

She was married, but living apart from the man that she loved. In fear of his life, but missing him so badly. So badly, that she had given into his request that they spend the night of the anniversary together. In a moment of weakness, she had allowed him to make love to her. More than once in fact.

Looking down at the test, she knew that there was only one thing that she could do. She had to run. Far away from New York and the man whose life she held so dear.

She opened the map of the United States and closed her eyes. She let her hands circle around a few times and she dropped her finger down hard. She smiled and nodded. It seemed as if she was headed to the Southern part of the United States.

Kate wouldn't fly. No she couldn't risk someone tracking her. She would draw out as much money as she could from her joint account with Castle and then she would buy a cheap car and drive to her destination. Somewhere that she could start a new life and maybe one day she could beg for Castle's forgiveness. She knew that she didn't deserve it, but she would ask for it.

Soon, Kate was on her way to Alabama. To start a new life for her and her baby. A life that didn't include the man that she loved with all of her heart.

Writing him a goodbye letter, she told him how much she loved him and asked him to understand why she had to leave. She didn't tell him about their baby or where she was going. She simply put the letter in the mail and headed off to start her new life.

The minute that Castle was done reading the letter, he hurried to the precinct and was surprised to find that there was a man sitting in the Captain's office. He looked at Ryan and Espo and asked, "Where is she?"

Ryan only looked at him, "She's gone. She submitted her resignation to One PP early this morning. We came in to find that we had a new Captain."

Espo asked, "What did you do to her Castle? What did you say?"

Castle held up his hands and told them, "I didn't do anything. I swear. I thought everything was going great. We were starting to reconnect. She was even talking about coming home for good. Are you sure that you don't know where she is?"

Ryan and Espo both shook their heads and Ryan said, "No. We are just as surprised as you are Castle. When we saw her yesterday she didn't say anything about leaving."

Castle sighed softly and shook his head as he left the precinct. He swore that he would never stop looking for his wife.

 _ **One Week Later**_

Kate settled into her new home in Alabama shortly after arriving. She found a small house to rent and she managed to stay off of the radar. She only went out to buy groceries and then came home. She kept to herself and had minimal contact with anyone.

She knew that her plan was working because no one had come after her and her life was very quiet. Her only wish was that Castle was there with her.

Castle hadn't given up trying to find his wife. He had used every resource as a PI to try and find her. To no avail. He hadn't gotten any closer to find his wife than he had when he started. He missed her so badly and just wanted her back with him.

He wasn't sure why she had run, but he would always be waiting for her to come back. He would be there with waiting arms. What he couldn't have known was that she had a secret she was hiding. A secret that could threaten to tear them apart for good.

 _ **Four Months Later**_

Waking up, Kate realized that she wasn't in the bedroom of her house. She had gotten a good deal and had managed to pay for it with the money she had taken from her joint account with Castle.

Feeling her stomach, Kate felt the baby move and she smiled. Then, she opened her eyes and she realized that she was in the hospital. She turned her head and saw a sight that chilled her to the bone. Her husband was sitting in the chair beside her bed.

Damn. What in the hell was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to have been able to find her. She had made sure to stay off of the radar. Apparently she hadn't done a good enough job. Because he was sitting in the room with her. He looked to have aged years. She could see a few grey hairs on his head. Hairs that hadn't been there a few months ago.

When she saw Castle's eyes open, she turned away from him. The last memory she had was of being at her doctor's office. Then she woke up here.

Kate whispered to no one in particular, "What are you doing here Rick?"

"I should be asking you that Katherine?"

Katherine? Fuck. If he was calling her that, then he was really mad at her. She knew that he had every reason to be. She was six months pregnant with his baby and she hadn't told him.

"I'm so sorry Rick. I…"

"You're sorry? You're sorry? Do you even know how inadequate that word is? I get a call from a doctor here in this very hospital. Telling me that my wife has been admitted to the hospital. I fly down here. Still not knowing that my wife is carrying my baby. A baby that she didn't even bother to tell me that she was having."

Kate felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. A small part of her knew that this day was coming. She knew that he would find out eventually. Find out about the baby. Then all of her secrets would come tumbling down.

Kate turned to him and took his hand. She placed it on her stomach and whispered, "This is your son Castle. I…."

Kate's eyes rolled back in her head and alarms started going off in her room. Nurses filled her hospital room and Castle found himself being pushed out of the room. Left to wonder what was happening to his wife and unborn baby. Wondering if he was going to lose her again so soon after finding her.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Castle isn't letting Beckett off the hook quite so easily. He's still very mad at her and well... Here's the next chapter._**

Castle paced the floor for what felt like forever, but was probably only a few hours. Wondering for the hundredth time how he had gotten here. Sitting in a hospital waiting room. Worrying about his wife and unborn baby. Wow. A baby. He was going to be a father again. He knew that he loved the baby that Kate was carrying. Even if he had only just learned of its existence mere hours ago.

How could she have kept something like this from him? He was her husband and the father of their unborn baby. Before she had passed out, she had mentioned that they were having a son. A son. For some reason the thought of having a son with her seemed so unreal. Maybe he was imagining things. This couldn't be happening to him. He couldn't be having a baby with someone that hadn't even told him that she was pregnant.

Did she want their baby? Did she want him? Would she come back to New York? Would she stay here in this small town in Alabama?

He didn't know the answer to any of his questions. All he knew was that his wife was in there fighting for her life.

Castle walked over to the window and looked out on the Alabama night. When he'd gotten the call from an unknown phone number he'd almost ignored it. However, something inside him told him that he needed to pick it up.

He thought back on the call and shook his head.

Castle had nearly given up on ever hearing or seeing Kate again. He had even gone to a lawyer to talk about getting a divorce. In the end, he hadn't been able to go through with it. Despite what everyone told him, he held out hope that he would see her again. One day she would come home to him and they could be a family.

He had run out of scotch and was thinking about starting on the bottle of whiskey waiting on the edge of his desk. Instead, his phone rang and he looked at it and saw that it was an unknown caller. He sighed and figured that it was a wrong number. It rang three times before he picked up, "Hello?"

The voice on the other end cleared her throat and asked, "Is this Richard Castle?"

Castle sighed and ran his hand through his hair and said, "It is. Who is this?"

The voice on the other end told her, "This is Doctor Danielson. I'm a doctor at Flowers Hospital."

Castle did a double take. Flowers Hospital? Where in God's name was that and who was he calling about?

He finally managed to ask, "What is the about? Where is Flowers Hospital?"

Castle heard the doctor chuckle and then say, "We are in Dothan Alabama. It's a small community. As for what this is about, an in case of emergency card was found on one of my patients when she was brought into our hospital by ambulance. We thought it best to call you even though you are in New York and…"

"Excuse me for interrupting, but what is this about? It's late here and I want to go to sleep."

"Yes. And I'm sorry for calling so late. It's about Katherine Beckett. Do you know her? I assumed that you were someone important to her."

Castle felt his heart stop and his world spun around for a brief moment. Could this be the call he'd been waiting for? The break in finding his wife. He finally managed to say, "She's my wife. Is she okay?"

"She fainted while she was in the grocery store. They brought her to our hospital. She's been admitted for tests. We just wanted to let you know. There's no reason for concern at this point."

After talking to the doctor for a few more minutes, he disconnected the call and sat in his office for the longest time. Finally, Castle knew what he needed to do. He pulled up the web site and booked a first class ticket to Godforsaken Alabama. He needed to be there with his wife. Even if she didn't want him there. She was his wife and she obviously needed him.

He arrived at Flowers hospital early in the morning. He needed sleep, but he needed to see his wife more. He walked into the emergency room and up to the desk and asked the nurse on duty, "I'm here to see my wife, Katherine Beckett."

The nurse smiled softly at him, "Of course Mister Castle. If you wait here a moment I will have a nurse take you to her room."

Castle almost asked her how she knew who he was, but then he remember who he was and said nothing. He simply nodded and stood there in the middle of the room. Waiting for news about his wife.

When the nurse finally came over to him, he said nothing, he simply followed behind her. She was talking and Castle heard nothing until he heard the word baby leave her mouth. He stopped and asked, "I'm sorry. What did you say? Did you say something about a baby?"

Nodding and smiling, "Yes. Ms. Beckett is six months pregnant. Mother and baby are doing well. Her blood pressure was extremely high. Which is why she passed out. We have to monitor her over the next few days and make sure her blood pressure is stabilized."

Baby? Kate is pregnant? What the hell was going on? His wife is pregnant and she didn't tell him about it. He was going to sit beside her bed and demand answers and he wasn't going to leave until he got them.

So that was how he found himself sitting in the hospital waiting room. Waiting for news on the life of Kate and their unborn child. A child he hadn't even known existed until a few hours ago. A child that he somehow loved just as much as Alexis. Would Kate want him in their lives?

Finally, a doctor came out and asked, "Family of Katherine Beckett?"

Standing up quickly, Castle called out, "Here. I'm here. How is my wife? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

The doctor smiled and nodded, "Mom and baby are doing just fine. It was a bit of a scare for a moment there. Her blood pressure went through the roof, but we finally got it stabilized and now she's asking for you. I'll take you to her. If you want."

Nodding, Castle followed the doctor and walked quietly into her hospital room. Kate was still laying in the bed and looking out the window when Castle and her doctor walked into the room. She finally turned and gave Castle a sad smile. He walked to sit beside her bed and they listened to the doctor talk.

The doctor finally left the room. Leaving Castle and Beckett sitting alone. After what seemed like forever, Castle finally asked, "Why?"

Beckett sighed, "I am never going to be safe from these people. They want to kill me. I can't go back to New York. I'm not going to risk your life and the life of our baby."

Castle gave her a look, "So you thought the best solution was running away from our marriage and our life together?"

"I…"

"You obviously forgot everything we went through. You were so mad at me for leaving you alone on our wedding day. How is this any different? If anything this is so much worse. You're pregnant and you didn't think to tell me that I was going to be a father again. Were you planning to ever tell me about him? Or were you going to introduce me to him on his eighteenth birthday. Hey Castle, guess what? You're a father again. Eighteen years after the fact, but hey. Better late than never."

Castle was so mad that he was shaking at this point. He was literally seeing red by this point. He looked at the woman he loved with all his heart.

She finally whispered, "I'm sorry Castle. I was doing what I thought was best for everyone."

"No Kate. You did what you always do. You push people away. You like to make all of the decisions in every part of your life. So instead of telling me all about this situation and the danger, you decided to keep me in the dark and you ran. You're good at running Katherine. I just wish I wasn't so good at following you. I think this time…. It's time to let you go. I'll be there for the baby, but I don't know if our marriage will survive this Katherine."

Her voice shook when she asked, "What happened to always Castle?"

"You destroyed that with your lies and half truths. I need time to think. I can't be around you right now..."

Shaking his head, Castle stood up and walked out of the room. Leaving Kate alone and crying in the hospital room…..


	3. Chapter 3

Kate was facing the window when Castle walked back into the room. He had been gone for about three hours. Walking around the hospital and trying to clear his mind. Trying to get rid of the anger that seemed to consume him. He wondered if he would ever be able to forgive her for walking away from their marriage like she had. Part of him knew that she had done it to protect him. Another part wondered if she would run away again once she was out of the hospital. Find another part of the country to run to. Run away from him and everything they could be together.

Castle sat beside her hospital bed and said nothing. The room was quiet except for the occasional beep of the machines. Castle had no idea what most of them were for, but he did see a strip of paper that was printing out what looked to be heartbeat readings. He assumed they were monitoring the baby's heartbeat.

He longed to reach out and touch her. Wanted to touch the place where his unborn child was nestled inside her. Wanted some kind of connection to her and the life that they had made together.

Castle heard her sigh and then she whispered, "Say something Castle."

Castle sighed in return shook his head, "What do you want me to say Kate?"

Closing her eyes, she swallowed hard, "Something. Anything."

"Why did you do this? Run away the second you found out that you were having my baby. Despite everything…"

She looked at him and asked, "What?"

Sighing, Castle whispered, "Despite everything I still love you. How screwed up is that? I feel betrayed in the worst way, but I can't find it in my heart to simply walk away. From you or from the baby."

Kate turned to face him and she noticed that his face was filled with anguish. She longed to reach out and touch him. To try and reassure him that she wasn't planning on going anywhere. That she had learned her lesson about cutting him out of her life. She had missed him terribly during the past 4 months. There hadn't been a day that had went by that she hadn't thought of him. Hadn't wanted to go home to him and tell him about their baby.

The only thing that had stopped her was her singular need to keep her baby safe. She knew the people that she had pissed off would stop at nothing to destroy her. Including harming her baby. So, she had remained alone and determined to keep her little one safe.

Kate finally managed to whisper, "I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. These people would stand and nothing to kill you and our baby. They would do it to hurt me. To keep me from investigating them. To keep their world from crumbling down around them. I couldn't let them take you from me Castle. Just like I couldn't let them know about the baby."

Castle sighed, "We've always been stronger when we are together. Don't you get that? Or did you just not care?"

Shaking her head, she whispered, "It's not that Castle. I wanted to keep you safe. Wanted to keep him safe. I wouldn't survive losing either one of you. Losing my mom was hard, but losing you and our son would absolutely destroy me. There would be no way for me to recover from that. There would be no coming back from that. You wouldn't be there to bring me back from the brink. The wall would go back up, but this time the wall would stay up and never be able to be knocked down."

Castle ran his hand through his hair and whispered, "You realize that goes both ways right? These last four months have been terrible for me. I barely ate, rarely slept. I spent so much time looking for you. Wondering what I'd done to push you away from me. Away from our marriage. In the worst scenarios, I wondered if you had found someone else to love."

Kate gasped and shook her head, "No. Never. You are it for me Castle. You are my one and done. I just… I was misguided and thought that by being apart I could keep you safe. You were safe."

Castle looked at her and whispered, "Until about a week ago."

"What happened Castle?"

Shaking his head, he tried to avoid it, "It doesn't matter."

"It does. What happened?"

"Whoever is behind this tried to take a shot at me. Missed only because I dropped my pencil. Espo and Ryan were investigating and…."

"What did they find out?"

"Not much. Then someone tried to crash the town car I was in. They were escalating things. Probably trying to draw you out of the woodwork. I guess they gave up when you didn't show. I guess they thought that you didn't care about me anymore. Hell, that's what I was thinking."

Kate reached for his hand and whispered, "I do care Rick. That's why I ran. I didn't see any other way. I…"

"We are a team Kate. Partners. In everything. Life. Crime. Raising our baby. Our son."

Kate looked into his eyes and saw that the love that was still present there. Maybe she hadn't ruined everything. Maybe it was just a little bit bent and not completely broken. She knew that he would have a hard time trusting her for a long time, but maybe she could win back his trust over time. She would spend the rest of her life working to restore his faith in her. She would do whatever it took.

She looked at him and whispered, "I love you Castle."

"I wish I could believe that Kate, but what you've done. It's what you always did. You're never going to let anyone in. Not even me. I will never be your everything. I feel like I'm the only one that's truly one hundred percent invested in this relationship anymore. It's like you gave up on us. On everything that made us great."

"I didn't and I know that you probably won't ever believe me. Despite everything, I will always love you. Even if you don't want me anymore I won't keep you away from him."

Castle sighed and turned away from her. Part of him hated her for running, but another part understood that it was who she was. Instead of saying anything, Castle stood and walked over to the window. He finally whispered softly to her, "I don't know if I can trust you to stay. When you get scared or nervous, you run. You forget about me and it's like you go back to that scared nineteen year old girl that lost her mother."

"It changed me Castle. I…"

"And I'm not saying that's a bad thing Kate, but you aren't nineteen anymore and you don't have to be alone anymore. I'm here. Right beside you. We make each other whole again. We have always been better together Beckett."

Kate reached for his hand and he hesitated for a moment before he took her hand. She placed it on her stomach. He whispered softly to her, "Is that the baby?"

Kate laughed and nodded, "Yes. I know that it's not much, but…"

"It's enough. For now it's enough."

With those words, Kate had a glimmed of hope. Hope for the future. Hope that with work she could begin to rebuild his trust in her. The trust that she had broken when she had kept him in the dark about everything that had threatened to tear them apart. Things that could still tear them apart. If she didn't learn to run to him instead of away from him when things got rough

She had a sliver of hope when he leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead and whispered, "I'm going to grab something to eat. You want anything?"

Laughing she told him softly, "The baby would love a milkshake."

Castle raised his eyebrows, "The baby huh?"

"What can I say? The baby likes milkshakes."

Winking at her, Castle turned and walked out of the hospital room with a huge smile on his face for the first time in what seemed like forever and hope for their future….


	4. Chapter 4

Castle didn't know where the shot came from, but he heard it over his shoulder and barely ducked in time to avoid being hit by a bullet. It shattered the window right next to his head and covered him with shards of glass. The glass left several small cuts on his face and neck. He looked around and didn't see anyone suspicious.

After being interviewed by a police officer, Castle hurried back to the hospital. His shirt was covered in blood and he knew that there was no way he could hide it from his wife. So, he walked into the hospital and hoped that he could put her at ease and not cause her to run again. It wasn't a coincidence that he had been shot at. He knew that whoever was behind this whole thing that had caused her to go on the run was gunning for him again. He wondered if he had led them right to her. He would take her on the run if necessary. He just hoped that he could protect his wife and unborn son.

When Castle came back he paused outside Beckett's hospital room. Kate was dealing with her own crisis at the moment. He heard her doctor tell her, "I still think you should consider your options. At least discuss it with your husband."

"There's nothing to discuss. I told you before that there is nothing to consider. It's my decision and that's final."

Castle turned around and headed back towards the nurses station. Shaking his head he wondered what Kate and her doctor were talking about. He thought that they were on their way back to finding each other. Only to be smacked in the face with the fact that she was still keeping secrets from him. He was honestly very tired of it.

He saw her doctor leave her hospital room and walked over to him. He asked the doctor, "Is everything okay?"

When the man answered Castle could hear the resignation in the man's voice when he said, "As good as it can be."

"What's wrong?"

"I wish I could tell you Mister Castle, but Kate is my patient and she's adamant that you not be told about this. You will have to ask her."

Nodding, Castle thanked the man and headed back towards her room. He took a deep breath and walked inside. Kate was lying on the bed with her hand resting on her stomach and her eyes were closed. Castle stared at her and tried to get his feelings under control. He was honestly sick of all the secrets.

He asked her softly, "Is everything okay?"

She turned to face him and nodded, "It's fine. It will be fine soon."

Taking a deep breath, he asked, "What's wrong Beckett?"

"Why do you think there's something wrong?"

"You look sad and I overheard the doctor talking to you. It sounded like there's something wrong with the pregnancy, the baby or both."

Kate closed her eyes Castle watched as a tear slid from her eyes. She whispered softly, "It's about the baby. I…."

Castle put the bags and cups on the table beside her bed and walked over to sit beside her. He took her hand in his and held them tightly.

This made Kate cry harder and she turned away from him and whispered, "I suppose it's all my fault. If I hadn't ran then maybe this wouldn't be happening. Maybe, just maybe he wouldn't be…"

Castle brushed the stray hair out of her face and looked at her, "What's going on Kate?"

Shaking her head, "I don't want you to hate me. I already hate myself. I wouldn't blame you if you left me and never looked back. In fact, I want you to. Just leave and never come back. I don't deserve you Rick."

Castle sighed, "Kate. Please tell me what's wrong. Whether it's with you or the baby I…."

Shaking her head, she whispered, "My doctor wanted me to have an abortion. Said that it's probably the best thing. For everyone. He wants me to get rid of our baby."

"Why? What's happening?"

Kate took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "They performed an amniocentesis and they suspect he has Downs Syndrome. You'd think in the day and age it would be an issue. He wants me to discuss it with you. Apparently some people want to terminate the pregnancy rather than have a baby born with a deformity. I...I can't get rid of him Castle." Taking a deep breath she whispered, "I'll understand if you want out. I'll take full responsibility for him and.."

Castle leaned forward and silenced her with a kiss. Her sob was muffled by the kiss and she closed her eyes and her hands settled on her stomach. She felt her son moving inside of her. He was turning around and moving more than he had in some time. Castle's hand joined hers and he whispered to her softly, "I don't plan on leaving either of you. You're my wife and he's my son. Whether he's born with a birth defect or not doesn't change that. I will love him just as much. Nothing will ever change that Kate. He's perfect to me."

She took his hand and held it tight on her stomach. Their son chose that moment to kick her once again. She smiled and closed her eyes. Then she whispered, "I found out months ago and wanted to call you, but I was so afraid. Afraid that you wouldn't want us. Afraid that you would blame me. Afraid that…."

Castle leaned over and silenced her with a kiss. He placed his hand on her face and she closed her eyes. Leaning into his touch. He whispered into her ear, "I would never blame you."

"It would be my fault. Alexis is perfect. She's.."

"Hush. Even if he's born with Downs Syndrome we will still love him. He will be the most loved baby ever. We will spoil him and shower him with hugs and kisses. He will know how much his mom and dad love him. How much our family loves him."

Kate nodded and whispered, "If he does have this it will mean a lot of medical procedures and.."

"We can handle this. We've been through worse things before. I promise you. I don't blame you for this. No one is responsible for this. We will wait and see what happens when he's born. There's always a chance that the doctors are wrong. It wouldn't be the first time. Or the last time. We will make it through this."

Nodding Kate smiled and laid back against her bed and closed her eyes. She knew that once the news set in Castle might change his mind. Might decide that it wasn't worth it. That she wasn't worth it. Then there was the fact that she was in love with this place. She loved Alabama and wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere near New York. She knew that there was a lot to talk about and they would have to take things one day at a time and hopefully they would work through all the obstacles in their way.

When she finally calmed down some more, she looked at her husband and asked, "What happened to you? Why do you have blood all over your shirt?"

"I cut myself shaving and…"

She gave him a sideways look and he knew that she didn't believe him. So, he finally admitted, "There was an accident on the way back here."

"An accident? What kind of accident?"

Castle didn't want to tell her. Didn't want to admit that she might not be safe here anymore. That they might have to leave this place that she had come to call home. He wondered if they would have to go on the run. If he'd only known what she was running from, he would have been more careful. However, he hadn't known that she was running from someone. He'd thought that she was running from him. Running away from their life together. Now that he knew the truth, they could all be in danger.

So, he looked at her and whispered, "I think someone tried to shoot me."

She sat up in the bed and practically screamed, "What?! Why didn't you tell me this sooner. Dammit Castle. You need to get out of here. The longer you're around me the greater the danger is. Please. Leave. Protect yourself. Please…."

Castle shook his head, "I'm not leaving you alone. I'm here with you. We are stronger together. Remember that Kate. I love you and we can do this together. If we have to run, we will run together. We will do whatever it takes to keep you and him safe."

Kate closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. She buried her head in his chest and whispered, "Whatever it takes. Together we will do whatever it takes to keep us all safe…"

Castle kissed the top of her head and held her tight. He held her until she fell asleep in his arms. He laid her down on the bed and decided that he needed to bring in reinforcements. Needed help in keeping his family safe. And the person that he called would help him protect her and keep her safe.

"I need your help and you can't say no. Kate and I are in trouble."

Listening for a few more moments, Castle nodded and then he said, "Okay. Will do. Thank you."

Castle hung up the phone and texted the address to the person he was talking to. Knowing that this was a life or death situation. Everything depended on it…..

 _ **Please, remember that this is all AU and dreamed up only in my mind. If you like it, please leave a review. Even if you don't like it leave a review. Constructive reviews help me grow as a writer, nasty reviews won't... Thanks again for reading...**_


	5. Chapter 5

Rick walked back into Kate's room and held her hand. Then he asked, "Tell me how you found out about the baby possibly having Downs."

Kate swallowed hard and motioned for him to join her in the bed. He laid beside her and she rested her head on his chest. She took a deep breath and joined their hands together on her stomach. She finally whispered, "They did a routine ultrasound when I was twelve weeks pregnant. They noticed that some of the fluids were extremely high. They waited until I was sixteen weeks pregnant and performed another screening test. The second round of tests determined that he was at an extremely high risk for having Downs. So, based on all the tests they performed, they decided to perform an amnio. The levels that are used to detect Downs came back and showed that there is a strong probability that he has Downs."

"What are the odds that he doesn't?"

"Very small. He will probably have Downs. Depending on the severity he could have heart defects. Hearing problems and vision problems are common. His life won't be easy, but I want him to have a chance at life. I couldn't imagine not giving him every shot at life. I refuse to give him a shot at life. I love him so much Castle. I'll understand if this is too much for you and…"

Castle put his finger on her lips and shook his head. Then he told her softly, "He's our baby Kate. He will be perfect no matter what the future holds for him. It's not too much for me. Whatever his life holds we will face it together."

"Together."

Kate cried softly into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her he whispered to her, "I wish that you would have called me. I would have come to you. You shouldn't have had to face this alone. I can't imagine how scared you've been."

Castle felt her shrug and she whispered, "It was my fault. I was the one that ran away and…"

"And I'm still mad at you for that. What you did was so unfair. To leave me when you found out you were pregnant. You know I would have protected you. We could have done this together. Could have fought LockSat together."

The tears fell even harder at his words. She knew that everything he said was true. She should have trusted him. Trusted that he would understand. Instead, she had panicked and ran. Ran away from him and their life together. She whispered softly, "I panicked. I would die if I lost you Rick. I would die if I lost him. Or if I lost Alexis. You are all my family and I can't imagine life without any of you. I…"

"Still. You should have told me. I would have run with you."

"I know and I couldn't ask you to give up your life in New York. I…"

"You are my life. You and our baby. We can go back to New York and..."

Kate shook her head and whispered, "I'm not going back there Rick. It's too dangerous. I want to raise him here. I…"

"Are you serious? Surely the doctors back in New York know more about Downs than they do here. I…."

"What are you saying Rick? That I have to choose between this town that I've grown to love or going back to a place that I've grown to fear and despise? Is that what's happening here?"

"Well, we can't very well live here forever and.."

Shaking her head, she tried to get out of bed. She longed to look him in the eyes and make him understand how important this place had become to her. She stood beside him and whispered, "You won't understand how much I love this place. These people took me in and made me feel at home Rick. When I thought that I had nothing, they gave me everything."

Shaking his head, Castle asked, "And whose fault was that? Who decided to leave me and everything she'd ever known behind? It certainly wasn't me. I was happy with the way things were. At least until you decided to throw it all away because you like being broken."

Before she knew what happened, she felt her hand connect with his cheek. She turned away from him and faced the window. She sighed softly and whispered, "Get out."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I said get out. If that's really the way that you feel then we don't need or want you here. I will raise him on my own. I…"

Castle got out of the bed and walked over to her. He tried to put his arms around her and she shrugged him off. He asked her softly, "Can we talk?"

"What is there to talk about? We obviously won't agree on this. You want to go back to New York. A place that I have no desire to go back to. Then you use his possibly have Downs syndrome against me. I feel like you don't trust me to do what's best for him. I…"

Castle put his arms around her and held on tight. He refused to let her go even when she struggled against him. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "That's not what I'm saying Kate. I just think that we need to think about these things. We can't make any rash decisions. We should talk about these things and…"

"There's nothing to talk about. I don't want to go back there. This has become my home Rick. This town, these people are amazing and I feel safe here. Safe like I've never felt before."

"This is just like when you took the job in DC. You didn't care what I thought. You just did what you wanted and didn't think to include me. The only difference is that I thought you would do things differently this time. Especially since we are married now."

"Just because we are married doesn't mean that you own me Rick."

"And it doesn't mean that you can just do whatever you want without talking with me first."

Kate buried her head in her hands and felt like she was going to cry. She loved him so much, but she was afraid to go back to the place that held so many dark memories. Especially with the people that were behind LockSat still out there. Hiding in the shadows. Waiting for the right moment to strike. Would they wait until right before their baby was born and then use him to get to her? To threaten her with him this time.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and whispered, "I can't go back Rick. They will kill us all. Just like they killed McCord and her team. It was my fault. I can't lose either of you Rick. I would rather hide her forever rather than risk either of your lives. Can't you see? It has nothing to do with running away and hiding. It's only trying to keep him safe. Keep you safe. Both of you mean the world to me Rick."

Looking into her eyes, Rick saw the raw emotion hiding there. He finally sighed and whispered, "We have time to talk about this Kate. We don't have to decide anything to."

He turned her to face him and kissed her softly. Then she settled back against him and closed her eyes. Content to be held by him for the first time in months. He led her over to her bed and settled down into it. Pulling her with him and each of them lost in their thoughts.

After awhile, Kate knew that Castle had fallen asleep. She was wide awake and thinking about everything that had happened that day. When she had woken up that morning, she never could have thought that Castle would come to her. She honestly thought that she would never see him again. That she would raise their baby alone. Now however, he was here and she had so many things to think about. So many things to consider. She loved him and wanted him here, but she was still determined to keep him safe. Nothing had ever meant more to her….


	6. Chapter 6

Kate was released from the hospital the next day. She was given a clean bill of health and warned to keep her blood pressure under control. That was one promised that Kate would make sure to heed.

Castle drove her to the place that she called home and they walked inside together. Castle looked around at the place that she had called home for the past four months and smiled. Then he told her, "This place is cute."

For some reason that word set her off. She looked at him and shook her head, "I know it's not up to your usual standards. It's not as nice as the loft, but it's mine. Look Castle, I know that this isn't some place that would have chosen, but I love it here. It's quiet here. I won't be afraid to let him grow up here. To let him play out in the front yard and not have to worry about someone hurting him. Killing him simply because he's related to me and I don't want to go back to New York anytime soon."

"What about what's best for him?"

"Who says that staying here isn't best for him? Best for us?"

Castle sighed, "There are better places for him. He could get better help in New York. This place is…"

"Is what?"

"Lets face it Kate, this place isn't exactly cutting edge. We'd be better off taking him back home to get help for his Downs Syndrome and…."

"And what? Do you think that I haven't checked this out? That I haven't found places that can help him? There's a wonderful place in Birmingham that has an entire portion of the hospital dedicated to helping Downs Syndrome patients. They have…"

Shaking his head, Castle asked, "So, what you're saying is that you refuse to go back to New York? You're willing to leave behind everything and everyone there so that you can chase a pipe dream here?"

"That isn't what I'm saying Rick. I…"

"I guess there wasn't any point in me coming here. You already had your mind made up. You were going to stay here and raise him. With or without me. So, why did I even bother coming here?"

Kate threw her hands up in the air and practically screamed at him, "I don't know Rick. Why did you bother coming here? Was it to talk me into coming back to New York? To get me to do whatever you deem best? Without giving me a say in my future or the future of our son."

"You already had everything worked out. Why don't I just leave now? Leave you alone like you've always wanted. You've always been happiest when you are alone."

Before she could say anything else, Castle turned and walked out the door of her house. She had wanted to take him to one of the meetings that the support group she had joined held every week. She'd learned so much about raising a child with Downs syndrome. Had learned what to expect and what obstacles their son faced.

She walked over to her bed and sighed as she laid down. Feeling their son move, she wondered if Castle would come back to her or if he would go back to New York for good. Leaving her behind. It was what she wanted afterall. Wasn't it? Her life was so damn complicated lately. Sometimes she longed to go back in time. Back to before their anniversary. Before LockSat. Before everything got so damn complicated. Hell, if she was honest with herself, she wished that she had never taken the job with the AG's office. Never performed the search that had gotten her into this mess now.

But, she wondered if everything that had happened had led her to this moment. Would she be expecting this special little baby? Would she change that? When he gave her stomach a swift and hard kick, she knew that she wouldn't have. Because her unborn son meant more to her that anything else in the world. Maybe they could go back to New York and still be safe. She wouldn't touch anything to do with LockSat. That part of her life was done and over. Never to be revisited again. Her family's life depended on it.

So, she took a deep breath and called Castle's phone. She wasn't surprised when it went to voicemail. She sighed and left a message for him, "Come back Castle. I love you and we need to talk."

Laying on her bed, Kate smiled to herself and the smile grew bigger when she heard a knock on the , up she opened the door and was immediately engulfed in a hug. She looked up at him and whispered, "We can live anywhere. I just need you Castle. Only you… My home is wherever you and our son is.. Nothing else matters…."

Castle smiled, "How about showing me around here? This town seems nice."

Kate laughed, "It's very nice. Maybe we can go to the support group together."

"I'd really like that."

It felt as if nothing had been resolved, but at the same time, it felt like everything had been resolved. They both knew that there was a long road ahead, but they were confident that everything would work itself out in time…...


	7. Chapter 7

_**Some of Jim and Alexis in this chapter. Can her father talk some sense into her? Will Alexis reach out to her?**_

Kate was taking a nap when the call came through to Castle's cell phone. He saw that number and took a deep breath before he answered, "Hello Jim."

"Tell me she's okay?"

Things had been so hectic that Castle hadn't had time to call either of their families. And he wasn't sure that it was his place to tell Kate's father about the baby. So, he simply told him, "She's fine. We have a lot to work out, but she's doing fine."

He heard Jim release a sigh and then he asked, "What aren't you telling me Rick?"

"It's really not my place to tell you Jim. She…"

"Is something wrong with her?"

Looking towards the door, Rick knew that he wasn't going to get away with putting her father off any longer. They had talked numerous times over the past four months and Jim and Rick had kept each others spirits up. He felt as if Jim was more than just his father-in-law. He felt that the man was more like a father. They had bonded over their mutual concern for Kate.

Of everyone, Jim had been the most worried about his daughter. So, Rick made a split second decision and decided that Jim deserved to know. So, he told him, "She's fine Jim. She was released from the hospital. She and the baby are doing fine now."

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone line. Rick knew that he had shocked the man. He heard him clear his throat and ask, "Baby?"

"Yeah. I didn't know until two days ago."

"What was wrong with her?"

"Her blood pressure was high and.."

"What aren't you telling me Rick?"

Closing his eyes, Rick finally told someone else about their sons condition, "He has Downs syndrome."

"Are they sure?"

"They are ninety nine percent sure. I guess there's always the smallest chance that he won't, but Kate and I are preparing for it."

"When are you two coming home?"

Sighing, Castle told him, "I'm not quite sure. We are still working out the details and…"

"She doesn't want to come home. Does she?"

"It's complicated. She's afraid Jim."

"Of what? This is her home. Her life is here. Her family is here. Let me talk to her."

"She's sleeping right now Jim. I promise you I will have her call you when she wakes up."

"Get her to come home Rick. We need her here. Our family isn't complete without her. I don't want my daughter and grandchild living so far away from me."

"I agree Jim, but she's stubborn."

Jim laughed and they talked for a few more minutes before he hung up the phone. He walked into the bedroom and sat beside Kate. He looked at her and then, he reached over and put his hand on her stomach. Feeling his son kick underneath his hand made him smile. Kate's eyes opened and she smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "I have something to tell you. Just, promise you won't get mad at me."

Smiling up at him, she promised, "I won't."

"I kind of spilled the beans to your dad. We've been talking since you were gone. He was worried about you. I hope you don't mind."

Kate looked away from him and asked softly, "Was he mad?"

Shaking his head, "Not mad. He just wants you to come home. Wants you and the baby closer to him. Wants the other part of his family there."

Kate sighed and she knew that she was threatening to disappoint her dad. She was the only family he had left. Shit. How could she leave him in New York. Alone.

She rubbed her temple and sighed, "Castle…."

"I know. Not pressuring you. Just telling you what he said."

"I realize that."

Then, his phone started ringing once again. He looked at the caller id and saw that it was Alexis. He wondered if everyone in their family was going to call tonight. He laughed and answered the phone, "Hello Pumpkin."

"Dad. Let me talk to her."

Castle held the phone out to Kate and whispered, "You don't have to talk to her. I can…"

"I'll talk to her Rick."

Nodding, he handed the phone to her and walked out of the room. Whatever his daughter had to tell her was something private. So, he decided to make them something to eat.

Kate took a deep breath and said, "Hi Alexis."

"Kate. Are you okay? Are you coming home soon? We missed you. Dad was lost without you. He didn't stop looking for you and…"

Kate laughed despite her nerves. She had expected her stepdaughter to be mad at her. Maybe she was just good at hiding it, but it sounded more like Alexis just wanted her home. So, she finally told Alexis, "Well, we have a few things to work out. I'm not sure…"

"Is this about the baby?"

"Your dad told you?"

"Yeah. Yesterday. He was excited Kate. I've always wanted a baby brother or sister and…"

"I don't know if it's safe to come home."

Alexis sighed and told her, "Nothing has happened here since you left Kate. We can protect you. You belong here with us. I need the rest of my family here. I…"

"Alexis...It's complicated and…"

"It's not, not really. We can protect you. Espo and Ryan both have guns and they wouldn't be afraid to use them. We love you Kate. We need you home."

Kate could feel herself wavering. She closed her eyes and whispered, "I know Alexis…."

"Just promise me that you will think about it."

Sighing, she told her, "I promise."

When she hung up the phone, she saw Rick standing in the doorway. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face. She felt a tear run down her cheek and she looked over at him and that was when she knew. She was being unfair to him. Unfair to the baby. Unfair to the rest of her family. She finally whispered, "Lets go home Rick….."

"Are you sure?"

Nodding, she whispered, "I can't do this anymore…. Staying away from you was hard enough, but he deserves to know Alexis, Martha and my dad…. I'm not strong enough to fight all of you…"

Castle leaned down and kissed her softly. He would do whatever she wanted, but she had to want it for her, not because anyone forced her to. Looking down at her, he realized that she was close to wanting to leave. He sat beside her while she cried and waited for her to talk to him once again….


End file.
